“Death comes for us all, Oroku Saki, but something much worse comes for you. For when you die, it will be without honor” – Splinter
If you are anything like me, you know the feeling of insomniac nights wondering which you would most like to be…a kung fu master, a samurai, or a ninja. The decision is not easy. Ninjas are definitely the slickest, but you never know who they are…so they probably don’t score many chicks. The samurai are the toughest (and have awesome swords and masks) but they have a lot of rules and honor obligations…and the whole stomach cutting open seppuku suicide caveat. Kung Fu masters have the most rapper cred this days and either dress like monks or rock it shirtless all day (both fantastic fashion options)…but I am guessing that probably would get smoked by the ninja or the samurai (unless we are counting magical kung fu…but that is a whole other sleepless night fantasy). So, you just stay lost in thought.
Chicago’s new badass brewery Pipeworks Imperial India Pale Ale makes the case for the dark masked creepers. CitraNinja is truly a master of assassination. A grapefruit, mango, pineapple, and almost minty front is a decoy for a perfectly hopped smooth body. Then out of nowhere a quick bitter finish that knocks you out in the best way one can be knocked out by bitterness.The sneaky amount of alcohol is hidden in the shadows…waiting to hit you in all seventeen of your pressure points simultaneous blowing your mind, stopping your heart, and popping your liver. Or is it a ninja star of citrus stickiness thrown at your tastes buds, slicing straight through. This Impy might just have it all…The slickness of a ninja. The power of the samurai. The fierceness of David Carradine. Hell, might even be the IPA equivalent of Bruce Lee’s scream. Or an action figure with REAL KUNG FU ACTION.
Wow, this beer is really good. Damn great, really. (Yes, I am gushing) You better pick an album that can meet those standards. Something so smooth that its power sneaks up to you. Something that is focused, calculated, fresh, and obviously unafraid of anyone or anything. Something classic, but not overplayed. Yes, yes. I’ve got it…only one man can handle this shit. Curtis.
Super Fly by Curtis Mayfield is an exercise is gritty smoothness. A catchy, but still damn potent album. A perfect blend of funk, rock, and soul. Strange drums, twisting build-ups, velvet vocals, freaky guitars, brick busting bass licks. Strangely socially conscious for a Blaxploitation flick. This 72 soundtrack is the perfect companion for Citra Ninja. A beer and an album that demand attention, particularly to the details and fine points left unstated. Game-changers in their fields. They wait in rafters killing off imposters before they realized they were under attack. Like Mayfield in 70s, Pipeworks is making many of its peers look like a fat kid with nunchuks, hapless and completely non-threatening. Anyone want to take on this ninja?